Betty Jo Estes 1926-

According to records in the family Bible, I was born at 4:45 A. M. May 9, 1926. The name given me was Betty Jo. I don’t think I was named after anyone although Mother’s mother was called Bettie, and Mother had a brother named Joe. It would be okey with me to be named after them because both were very special. Now, in 1999, I’m meeting several Betties so I think it was a popular name in the 1920s. I was born at home in Paris, Texas with L. B. Palmer being the attending physician. My position in the family is number two.

Our home was located in a rural area at the edge of town. The house was small in size, but big with hospitality. Usually one of Mother’s brothers, Joe or Jim, lived with us. We could always bring our friends home. Kerosene lamps provided lighting, wood fueled our stoves for heating and cooking. Water was drawn from a cistern in our yard. At the back of our one acre lot was the toilet. Our clothes were washed on a rub-board and then boiled in a heavy cast iron pot over a fire in the back yard. This same cast iron pot would be used for making lye soap. The soap was used for everything including bath and shampoo. Our zinc wash tubs were also used as our bath tub. We usually had two milk cows that provided milk and butter for us. Chickens and hogs were raised for food. Since there was no refrigeration the hogs were killed when the weather turned cold. The meat was preserved with salt, sugar cure or canned. Sometimes our milk would be lowered in a bucket down in the cistern to keep cool. Later we did get an ice box which held a 25 pound block of ice. In the summer we canned enough vegetables, fruit, relish and pickles to last all winter.

Since I was the oldest daughter, I learned responsibility early. Some of my chores were helping with the cooking, washing clothes, cleaning, ironing (with sad irons), churning butter, quilting and helping care for the younger siblings. Mother would also volunteer me to care for some of the neighbor children.

My grammar school was West Paris where I graduated from the seventh grade. I then attended and graduated from Paris High School in 1944. While attending my class reunions I still enjoy seeing my school chums from West Paris. I had to repeat the fourth grade which probably as good because my grades improved after that. My love for softball started in the third grade. On one occasion Daddy came to my grammar school to watch one of my games. This was very encouraging to have his support. During baseball season his radio was turned to a game. He was also supportive when Hardy played baseball. After the family moved to Grover City, Hardy would ride his bicycle to Guadalupe to play ball. He would wait at the Railroad depot till Daddy got off work (usually 11:00 P. M. or midnight) and ride home with him. I think Daddy was always hoping for a professional ball player in the family. The two that showed possibility was Hardy and Michael. Hardy is still playing for fun at 56 years. Michael’s career ended after rotator cuff [rotor cup] surgery.

Daddy didn’t always have a job during the depression. No matter how tough times were, Daddy was a very proud man. He would not apply for relief, this is now known as welfare. WPA also was introduced at this time, but he would not take one of their jobs. He always was able to find work of some kind. One thing I remembered he sold fruit and vegetables at the Market Square. During this time there was no money for toys so we made or created our own games or entertainment. We would run races which Mother would join in sometime and usually out ran us. We played scrub (working our way up in baseball), high jump, long jump, pole vault, hop scotch, jump rope, walk on stilts which we also called Tom walkers, jacks, marbles, mumbly peg, Red Rover, May I, Annie over, hide and seek, drop the handkerchief, and statue. We also made playhouses with boxes, broken dishes, rocks or whatever we could find. Some inside games at night was checkers, dominos, I spy, and spin the bottle. As a young girl I can only remember having two dolls. When I was very young the first doll had a porcelain head and it was broken. The next was a doll with a rubber body and composition head. I enjoyed making clothes for this doll. Our neighbor, Mrs. Yates, made a doll quilt for me in a star pattern. This doll deteriorated and was thrown away in the 50's. The quilt was given to Jeanette for her dolls. My first recollection of Sunday School was at the Immanuel Baptist Church on Bonham Street in Paris, Texas. Our family attended there until the Friendship Mission Church was built near our home. Much of our growing up years was centered around the church. Mother and Daddy both were very active in the organization and building of the church. Before the church was completed for services our home was where the Sunday School met. Some classes were inside the house and another outside in the yard where the younger children sat on benches. We also attended revival services at various churches and near our home before the Friendship Mission was built. We attended revival meeting under a brush arbor. At sixteen I received Christ as my personal Savior and sometime later was baptized in a nearby lake. Sundays were always a big day for us because we always had people coming home with us after church for Sunday dinner. I remember one time we had twenty-eight people for dinner, including our family. No way could we all eat at one time because dishes had to be washed before the second setting. The older people ate first, then the younger ones. We ate lots of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy and beans. Our dessert was usually a spice cake, cobbler, rice or bread pudding. After dinner some of us older teenagers would walk seven miles to a little town of Hopewell where we would play ball and then walk back home in time for the evening church services. At age twelve I was very ill with typhoid fever and bronchial pneumonia. This illness struck me at the end of school and I was bedfast for one month. We never knew where I contacted the disease. A sample of our cistern water was sent to Austin, Texas to be analyzed, but tested okay. My family was very compassionate, and anything I wanted that they had they would give me. Some of these things were the vials from their shots, (I think the shots was gamma globulin) Big Little Books, food like the first tomatoes that ripened, Jello, and corn-on-the-cob. After being in bed one month my body was weak, and I had difficulty in walking. All of my hair fell out from having such a high fever. Can you imagine how embarrassing that was for a twelve year old? My hair grew back very curly At my 40th High School Reunion, one of my classmates recalled my curly hair and said how envious she was of me. I told her she should have told me because I was very embarrassed being bald and then my new hair so kinky. My first money earned was fifty-two cents. It was during the depression and Mother let Ernie (Junior) and I go with neighbors to pick cotton. Mother gave me permission to go to the grocery store to buy candy and I spent all of the fifty-two cents. My bag of candy was the largest amount I had ever seen and it was shared with all the family. Mother stated I should have bought a smaller amount of candy and saved some of the money for material so she could make me a new dress. My next real job was with the F. W. Woolworth Co., my junior year in high school. That same year I moved to another job across the street to Place #1 Drug Store where I worked at the soda fountain. Having my own money, I was able to buy and do some of the things I thought was important. Mother and Daddy never took or expected me to give them any of my earnings, but knowing they could use extra money, I gave Mother a little from my check. Would you believe she put it in the bank in my name.

In 1943 Daddy went to California and was employed by the Southern Pacific Railroad in Guadalupe. On September 17th of this year Hardy was born. We all would have moved at the same time, but I balked at moving because I was to graduate the next year from High School. I didn’t want to leave some of the West Paris kids I had gone all through school with. My stubbornness was accepted and we didn’t move to California till June of 1944. Since Daddy worked for the railroad, we moved to California by train. We left Paris, Texas on a rainy day June 4, 1944. At the time we were on the train, D Day was being fought in Europe. Our first home in Guadalupe was a very small railroad house next to the tracks.

These later years I thought we should have stayed in Paris longer because Ernie was in the service (Army Air Corps) and he never was able to go back home after being discharged.

Jobs were easy to come by and my first job was with California Vegetable Growers, a vegetable packing company, in their payroll department.

I joined a girls softball team, the Rockettes. Our team won the championship of Santa Barbara County in 1944. While playing softball in August 1944, I met Everett Silva who was also playing softball. He became my husband July 25, 1945. Our first child, a daughter Jeanette Elaine, was born August 14, 1947. On January 15, 1950, our son, Gary Wayne, was born. We lived in rented apartments or homes for eight years, never paying more than $55.00 monthly for rent. In 1953 we built our home at 356 Tognazzini Street in Guadalupe which is still my residence in 1999.

In November 1953, I took a part time job as a clerk bookkeeper with the Guadalupe Hardware store. This part time job lasted fifteen years. In 1968 we purchased a partnership in the S & J Variety store. Realizing this was a bad investment we closed the store the winter of 1969.

Everett and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in July 1970 hosted by Jeanette and Gary. Unbeknown to us, Gary had received his draft notice the same day. Not wanting to ruin our special day, it was kept from us until the celebration was over. He was in the first lottery, #17 and was drafted while attending Hancock College. After his training he was sent to Vietnam and served there until our military came home. His rank was sergeant.

Jeanette married Tom Hemry in 1966 and they blessed us with two granddaughters, Kimberly and Jennifer. We were fortunate to have them live near us in Guadalupe while the girls were in grammar school. Kimberly married Alan Busby and they are the parents of two sons, Galen and Connor. Jennifer married Brian Shoor and they are the parents of a daughter, Riley. They all live near or in Yosemite National Park so I don’t see them as often as I’d like.

After Gary’s discharge from the army, he enrolled at Fresno State. There he graduated with a degree in Business Administration. At college he met Karen Oliver and they were married in 1978. This union blessed us with grandson Brad, and a granddaughter Kara. I had the privilege of helping with their care for about ten years and enjoyed every minute of those years.

The best advice Daddy gave me I still remember. It was in 1967 and he was too ill to send in his medical bills to the insurance company, and he was telling me what to do. I told him I didn’t know if I understood or could do it. Not being a man of many words, he said, "Sis, just think". This statement has helped me many times when difficult decisions needed to be solved.

Attending church is still very much a part of my life. I attend the Guadalupe Community Church and have been a member since 1953. Daddy and Mother were charter members of this church. They both were always active members even though they moved to Grover City. Daddy dedicated much of his time and financial support in the building of the church. When Daddy served as presiding elder at our annual business meeting, he always closed the meeting with the hymn, "God Be With You Til We Meet Again". One of Mother’s favorite hymns was "Precious Memories".

Everett converted from Roman Catholicism in 1953, so going to church as a family was a special blessing. Both Jeanette and Gary with their families attended the church and it was very much a part of their lives. Both Brad and Kara were dedicated in the church. Now in 1999 besides attending, I teach Sunday School, and I’m also the president of the Ladies Missionary Society. Margaret is also a very active member. She serves as trustee and is vice president of the Missionary Society.

During the 1970's and 80's my hobbies turned to floriculture and gardening. This hobby resulted in my teaching an adult floriculture class in Hancock College and serving five years as Floriculture Superintendent for the Santa Barbara County Fair. At present I still judge arrangements at the Lompoc Flower Show.

July 5, 1986, God called Everett to his heavenly home. We had forty-two years together and he was a good husband and father. He loved his family very much, and knowing he had a terminal illness he said he wasn’t afraid of dying because he knew where he was going but hated to leave the grandchildren before they grew up.

Mother’s last eight years she needed special care. Since there was difficulties with live in companions, she moved in with me. With the help of my sister and brothers she was able to be with those she loved and the ones who loved her. I’m glad for the privilege I had caring for her. She was always there for us if we needed help. She died at my home February 10, 1995. Both she and Daddy are buried in Arroyo Grande, California.

Travel is much a part of my life now. Since 1995 I’ve been a volunteer travel escort with the Santa Maria Senior Travel. In 1987 Kimberly and I traveled Europe for a month. She had been attending college in Heidelberg, Germany, and she suggested when school was out that I come over and we would travel. With our Eurorail passes we toured seven countries. It was a memorable trip and a delight to travel with Kimberly. That was the beginning of my travel internationally as well as the USA. It’s hard to believe I’ve traveled so much because growing up we hardly traveled to Oklahoma to see our grandparents. I’d like to express I’m proud of my heritage and the legacy Mother and Daddy left us. They were great examples for us to pattern after. They never showed much affection, but we knew they loved us. They both worked very hard to provide for our needs. How thankful all of us should be.

This Quaker motto sort of sums up the way I feel about myself:

"I expect to pass through this world but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I will not pass this way again."

[Contributed by Leo R. Estes 1 Oct 2000 12:00am; last modified by John W. Wilbanks 13 Dec 2000 5:47pm]